Not If You Were The Last Man On Earth

I considered entitling this post: We Are Never Getting Together or You'll Never Be MY Book Boyfriend. That should give you a good idea about what I'm going to discuss in this post.

There are certain male characters we fall madly in love with and dub our book boyfriends and then there are those we don't like...to put it mildly.

You guys are all so polite. I usually hear things like, "he wasn't my type" or "he did nothing for me". Sometimes I try really hard to be polite like that too but there's a certain type of male character/ love interest I, well, hate!

And I find that this, so called, love interest is usually a fan favorite which I just do NOT get. I wouldn't date a guy like this if he was the last man on earth. So, what's this type of man I find so utterly loathing? Are you just dying to know? Not Really? Alright, fine but I'll tell you anyway.

 A perfect example of the type of man I hate is Edward from the Twilight books. I use him as an example because most people have read Twilight not because poor Edward deserves anymore bashing.  But that definitely gives you an idea, am I right?

Lets look at some of the qualities in a male character that gets my eyes twitching and my anger boiling.

• WAY too overprotective
• Like WAY. They act like the woman they love is a helpless moron who's as delicate as a snowflake landing on a hotplate. 
• Therefore, they are demeaning. It's insulting to watch these men defame the woman they supposedly love by insinuating she's so stupid she couldn't possibly make a rational, self preserving decision. 
• In fact, they are so over protective they actually LOCK UP these women or have someone guard them to keep them out of danger. What the hell?! 

And this is just the tip of the ice berg. I've read far too many books where the so called hero does something like the above mentioned and it makes me so crazy! You want examples?

Adam from the Mercy Thompson books
Akiva from the Daughter of Smoke and Bones series
Arin from The Winner's Crime trilogy
Edward from the Twilight series (of course)

I'll stop there. So, why? Please tell me what the appeal is? I'm not a feminist in the traditional sense. I obviously get riled up when men act all superior and smarter than women but I also think feminists today need to be careful or we'll be living in a world of amazonian, hard, heartless women and sniveling pretty boys who can't even use a screwdriver but that's a different topic for a different day.

But I do want to know why these types of men are so rampant in books today. Particularly YA books. Am I missing something? Is this attractive? Do some women just love being told every little move to make and that she's a helpless infant who couldn't possibly make a calculated decision about her own life?

Shout out now to the awesome male characters that let women be women and know damn well that she's capable of taking care of herself and kicking ass.

Astley from the Need series
Lincoln from Attachments
Po from the Graceling Realm books
Dave the Laugh from the Georgia Nicolson books

Why, Hello There

A lot of you guys encouraged me to not give up on this blog and since I'm not quite ready to give up, I've decided to carry on. However, summers are just plain awful for me. I'm so busy I barely have time to read, let alone, blog.

Why am I so busy? Well, I think a lot of you know my husband and I own a few rental properties, right? Yeah, so in the winter I don't have to lift a finger at said properties unless something happens to go wrong, like a furnace going out (which two did this last winter) but that just requires a phone call to a repair company and a trip to the property to meet the repair man. Nothing too complicated. The summer, however, is a whole other story.  We do the yard work at our rentals so that means once a week we have to go mow lawns, make sure the sprinklers at one property are working and watering properly and make sure our tenants at the other property are keeping up with watering their lawns.

And now we have another property that we're remodeling right now...I swear this happens every summer...and on top of all that I have to keep up my own yard and house and, guys, I hate summers! I really do. They're hot and busy and all I want to do in lay by the pool and read but there's no time.

Thanks for listening to me rant. I have some book reviews to write but that might be all you see for awhile.

I hope everyone else is having a nice relaxing summer! See you on the other side!  

Predictability: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I've been whining about books that are predictable lately and so, in an effort to defend myself, and to blog more, I offer this post.

Predictability in a book. Yes, it happens and usually depends on the reader. Some people are great at seeing that shocking twist long before it happens and others...not so much. Why some people are great at this and what type of person is better is not the subject of my post so let's not go there. I just want to talk about when predictability is good and when it's bad...and when it's just plain ugly.

(All these opinions are simply my own and should not be taken too seriously)

The Good

Yep, I have examples and everything. ;) Some books aren't kidding themselves. They don't try to pretend they are so dang mysterious that you'll never see that twist ending coming. If it's obvious??? Who cares. Your're usually so invested in the characters that you really don't care. And speaking of characters: When predictability is done right, the characters aren't complete morons. Meaning you're not screaming at them for being so dang stupid! Rather than ramble on and on, I suggest you read this lovely book here for a better understanding on what I'm saying. If you haven't already.

The Bad

 Uh, yeah, remember that yelling at the characters thing? I can't tell you how many times I rolled my eyes, slapped my forehead, and screamed at these characters. Well, mainly I screamed at the author. The characters were so badly written I didn't have the heart to yell at them. It's not their fault they're so freaking stupid. Books that flounce around pretending they're so complex and suspenseful and that you, the reader, will never guess what's going to happen next...Well, they're about as obvious as they claim NOT to be.

The Ugly

Yeah, and then there's the books where absolutely nothing happens! It gets so bad you start making up all this crap in your head where the story COULD go just to spice things up. But does it ever happen? No! You read hundreds of pages and then just sit there staring at the book thinking, what the hell? Where's the story?! Nothing happened! There was nothing TO predict!






So, what's your opinion? Have you ever noticed the difference between the good and bad of predictability in book, or do you actually have a life? ;)  

Review Readers Anonymous

Welcome. Come sit in the circle. This is a safe place. No judgement here. It's time for some confessing. ;) Alright, alright, I'm not trying to scare you off. You don't have to nervously click away. I'm just rambling again. What about this time? Well, I'm glad you asked. Today I wanted to confess a little something about reading book reviews on other blogs.

Having a book blog is a way for all of us book lovers to share books we love. What ever the reason we started it, whatever the reason we keep going, whatever memes we participate in, whatever else we talk about, all of us book bloggers write reviews. We all read. Some a ridiculous amount and some as many as we can squeeze in, but read we do and when we're done, we plop ourselves down in front of the computer and begin to write up a review. Sometimes we rave, sometimes we rant. Sometimes we can't find the words and sometimes the words won't stop. But why? Why do we do this? Why do we pour a great deal of time and effort into these reviews? Well, I would guess we're actually assuming and hoping others will read our thoughts. Sure, there's the wonderfully humble souls out there who just want a place to jot down their thoughts on a book and really don't care if others read what they have to say. To those people I tip my hat. Well done for not being an attention whore. The door's right over there. Off you go. ;) I tease, I tease. I really am impressed with these people. But for me there's nothing quite so wonderful as sharing my thoughts on a book and knowing other people are reading those thoughts.

And that's where I finally get around to my real topic of the day. I don't put a whole lot of effort into writing my reviews. And, yes, I know it shows, but that's not the point. The point is, it still takes me a good 15-20 minutes (on a good day) to write a review. Just gathering my thoughts and condensing them into something understandable and hopefully entertaining is rather difficult. I imagine this is true for you too. Yet, we all do it anyway. Sit and write out these thoughtful and time consuming reviews and then...And here it FINALLY is...people come to our blog and skim our reviews. How dare they?! Where do they get off only sparing a cursory glance at our hard work?!

Um, what do you mean "how do I know they only skimmed my review?" Uh, no I don't skim reviews, I'm not talking from personal experience...Oh, fine, you're right! Happy? I sometime skim reviews!  *hangs head in shame*  Why do I do this? Well firstly there's the whole time thing. I may be a jobless loser with no life to speak of and rarely anything better to do but I do actually DO other things and don't always have the time to donate to countless reviews.

Which brings me to the different types of reviews. Please don't be angry with me. As I said, this is a safe place, right? Right?!

The college essay review
Oh, for the love of all that is purple, people! Unless you're actually writing up a book report that must have a required amount of words, please keep the reviews to a readable size. Whether you're raving or ranting does it really need to be THAT long?!  Really?!

The I just discovered the thesaurus review
Yes, adjectives and adverbs are glorious. I use them all the time. But if a book is good just tell me the book is good. You don't need use ten different words that mean "good" so that I get the point. I got it!

The first graders "what I did for my summer vacation" review
These ones, at least, are blessedly short. Unfortunately they sound exactly like a child wrote it. For example, (this book was so good. I really liked it. It was so exciting. I can't wait for the next one. The mystery was great. The characters were likable. I loved so and so the best. They made me laugh a lot.) See what I mean? I can only take so much of that before my eyes glaze over and I click away.

Now before you crush your mouse in outrage at my audacity, I'll quickly confess I'm guilty of every single one of these types of reviews. I've written ones that are painfully too long. I'm a horrible adverb junkie and I sometimes just can't form a sentence longer than six or seven words. I'm not condemning anyone for their review writing skills. I'm just confessing that, yes, sometimes I just can't take it and I skim reviews. Hey, at least I'm admitting it right?

Sometimes it has nothing to do with the reviewer's writing so much as what they're reviewing.

There are reviews of books we've never heard of. Sometimes this is a great thing. We're introduced to a new book. The Synopsis has intrigued us, the cover dazzled us, the reviewer has raved. Oh, how glorious are these moments. But for all the books that sound good, are the ones that don't. And then we have to read a review about a book we just don't care to know anything about. Ugh, the torture! The skimming that takes place. The guilty chin duck as we just click away from the site; not even courteously leaving a comment.


Then there are the books we hated. Geeze! It was bad enough reading the dang thing all 200-300 + pages of it and then we have to read what others think of it too?!  Hey, if they agree with us that the book was complete and utter crap it can be fun, but if they loved it...What can we do but sit and wonder what on earth is wrong with us?

The book we're eagerly awaiting. To be honest these are the ones I struggle with. Sometimes I'm not that bothered with spoilers or gushing or ranting. If I want to read the book I'm going to read it and your opinion, trusted as it is, will hardly dissuade me, but sometimes I don't want to read your review! I'm sorry but I don't want to hear a thing, good or bad, about the book. I don't want anything "ruining" it for me. You know?

And speaking of going on too long...

Please tell me I'm not alone. Tell me you skim once in awhile too. And if so, why? What types of reviews make you want to gouge your eyes out? Which ones do you just avoid? Come on, go ahead. This is a safe place. We're all friends here.  

Yep, They're THAT bad

When I talked about recommendations the other day my sister was curious what 10 books I'd "want to scream out a warning and throw my body between it and anyone even considering it." I'll TRY to keep it to just 10. ;)

 I got some nasty comments on Goodreads for my review of this one by the author's friends. I don't know why they're complaining. I paid full price for the dang friend's book! She got her money, so just shut up! Worst writing ever!  Avoid this one. Avoid it like the plague!

Anything by Brandon Sanderson I'd recommend you drop like hot iron. Oh, unless you actually enjoy self satisfied authors who let their unwarranted smugness seep into their overly detailed world building!

For two hundred pages the author introduces us to like 30 characters. No big deal right? Well it is a big deal when we not only get these characters names but an entire life history and then, those two hundred pages pass, and the author kills every single one of them off! What the heck was that?!  Too long, just way too long.

Sleepless by Cyn Balog looked good, really good. I was wrong. The story was confusing, the writing was shaky and the characters were unmemorable. Beware...BEWARE!

I'm sorry but if you're going to create a character who is cursed to kill people and who supposedly feels really sorry about it, then she should probably actually FEEL bad about it! Bipolar, psycho beotch!

 I'm going to finally say what I've been thinking for some time. You ready? You don't write a book by taking everything that's "trending" in YA literature and fling it together in some half assed manner with absolutely nothing actually making sense! Well, you don't do it and walk away with any self respect. I guess if it sells, and money is all you care about then go ahead.

Again we have a book that copy catted what was trending. Fine, whatever. But I repeat YOU CAN'T DUCK BULLETS! Seriously, people, does logic not matter in books anymore?

"Oh no she din't!" you say? Oh yes I did! I LOATHE this book! If I could stop everyone from reading it I would!

If you're going to write a book about bullying, revenge and this much anger, shouldn't at least one character walk away having learned something? Not some people's opinion. *rolls eyes*

Cliche fest in the guise of originality. :( This one broke my heart and I'm still holding a grudge.

TV Commercial Love

I'm afraid this is going to turn into a bit of a rant so forgive me now, but I'm having a hard time with this world of instant gratification! Especially when it comes to watching TV shows.

Nowadays, as you well know, there's a myriad of ways to watch our favorite shows: Netflix, the internet, On Demand, the list goes on and on. No longer do we have to watch a TV show when it's on or risk never seeing it again. Even if we don't have Netflix or what have you, most people have DVRs and can just record their shows and watch them later...and skip commercials. And here is where my rant comes into play.

I LOVE commercials. 'What?' you say, 'who the heck loves commercials? Who has time for them anymore?' Well, let me tell you why.

1

Need I say more?! Oh sure there's the pause button but it's a lot harder in an intense show to make ourselves push that pause button. See? Commercials give us that excuse to be kind to our bladders. 

2  I hate, HATE when I see a hilarious commercial and ask someone if they've seen it and not only do they say , 'no, I don't watch "regular TV"' but they look at me like I'm the scum of the earth for still doing so! Well, sorry! Forgive me for not wanting to fork over thousands of dollars a month on instant gratification! 

Uh, so anyway, the point is that while most TV commercials are maddening there are some hilarious ones that, more often than not,  are funnier than the sitcom I'm watching. And now there's so few people who can even enjoy a laugh with me. 

3 I love music. I'm always looking for some new song to discover and blast from the speakers so many times it becomes annoying, even to me. And where, you ask, do I discover these new (to me) songs? Why, from commercials, of course. I have 40 songs on my iPod that were discovered from commercials. And even more if you consider it introduced me to, not just the song, but to the band.

4 Yeah, alright when you're really into a show and there's some big gasp moment and then it goes to commercial it can drive you crazy, but isn't that half the fun? Don't shows lose some of their excitement when there's no break? If you can just click a button and skip the commercials, or the commercials have just been taken out all together, then what's the fun? Where's the tension?     

5 Commercials are meant to advertise and I, for one, have found some fun things because of them. Remember the yummy 5alarm burrito from Taco Time. Yep, commercial. How do I know that Blizzards at Dairy Queen are buy one get one for 99 cents through the month of March? Commercial. Hmmm, upon second thought, maybe I don't like what these commercials do for my waistline. ;) 

I highly doubt my rant has converted you into watching commercials and that's fine but could people please stop looking at me like I'm crazy when I mention a funny one?! 

Phew! Rant over.

Rant Of Epic Proportions

K, I really shouldn't worry about this but I've been fuming for over a week! So, as you may know, I'm a big fan of The Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini and am ecstatic about the fourth book finally being released on the 8th. In fact, I'm re-reading the first three books despite a monstrous TBR pile because I want to be reminded of all the tiny details before reading the fourth. Anywho, the most exciting thing is Christopher Paolini is going to be coming to my local library in December!!! I'm soooo excited. So, you can imagine my irritation when I discovered that my local library and Barnes and Noble got together and decided that, unless you buy Inheritance (the fourth book) that night from Barnes and Noble you can't get the book signed...........

Are you freaking kidding me?! I bet you Barnes and Noble decided it wasn't worth their time to come to the bookish events and sell books so they told the library they wouldn't come unless they could be guaranteed a lot of sales. I don't really know what happened but it's bad enough that Borders closed and now the only freaking bookstore within a reasonable distance is this stupid Barnes and Noble. Needless to say I immediately clicked on over to Amazon and ordered Inheritance from them. I don't give a dang if I can't get it signed I will NOT be taken advantage of by that full price charging, no coupons ever, selfish, arrogant store!!!  I'm never buying a book from them again! I mean hello? I want to read the book before he comes. I don't want to wait to buy it just for Barnes and Noble selfish reasons. Sheesh!

I'm already irritated with Barnes and Noble so even if they weren't the ones behind it (and why wouldn't they be?) I'm done with them. Why should I pay full price for books and be treated by crap by their cashiers? But that's another rant for another day.

Phew! Rant over, thanks for listening.  Am I the only person who finds this outrageous? Anyone else hate B&N?

Disclaimer: How I Really Feel About Sad Endings

I don't know how or why it happened but apparently I've come off in some of my reviews and in some of the things I say as someone who hates books that are sad and offer no happy ending. If you knew me, really knew me, you would hysterically laugh at this.

I'm the girl who got reamed for laughing maliciously at the end of Titanic when old Leo slips away into the water. Heck, I was anxiously awaiting it. I'm the girl who's favorite Shakespeare is Hamlet. Can you say depress-fest? I'm the girl who actually liked the end of The Hunger Games series. I'm the girl who roots for characters to die in the end of books and movies just for the sad ending! So, please, let's not assume anymore that I don't like sad books. I LOVE them! Why, you ask? Because sad endings, "good" sad endings, are either bittersweet. (And who doesn't love a bittersweet ending?) Or a result of the characters actions, thus, teaching us an important lesson about are own actions. 

However, I do not like books that use sadness as a selling tactic. I wasn't fond of The Help because there just wasn't quite enough hope offered. (come on, people, what really changed at the end of that book?!)  I wasn't tricked into liking The Kite Runner because of the so called selfless MC. And I wasn't touched to tears by the self sacrificing in Daughter of the Forest.  I guess my like or dislike of sad books has more to do with the realness of the stories than the, let's-make-people-cry-and-then-they'll-think-they-were-moved-by-this-bull-crap.

Phew! Now that I have that off my chest...I'll go ahead and open up this discussion. Do you love tragic endings? Or do you prefer bittersweet? Or...are you against any sad endings and only like warm fuzzy books? That's OK if you do; I'm not saying it's a bad thing; I just don't want people having false perceptions of me anymore. ;)

Words to Work For

This whole discussion could really be about a few different things like: why don't you finish a book? Or are you a strict one genre reader? But what I really wanted to rant about discuss is this...

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister, but her reading habits drive me insane! All growing up she would only read classics or fantasy. Oh sure, she'd read the occasional romance but she had her preferred genres and she stuck to them like glue. I don't have a problem with that, I lean towards certain genres myself, but what drives me nuts is (with the exception of the classics) all she reads are "easy" books. Meaning: easy for her, fast fluffy no-deep-thinking required. There's nothing I hate more than lending her a book that blew me away,  made me think and was so intricately woven together that I almost had to work for the pleasure, and she won't finish it. It drives me crazy! It makes me think evil thoughts like, "how shallow do you have to be to only read books you don't have to think about?!"

So, here's my question: What makes you not read a book? Are you open minded to any style or difficulty level, or do you stick with one or two genres? The ONLY reason I have not finished a book is because of atrocious writing. I'll read any genre, any style, and any difficulty level. Don't get me wrong, I like fluffy books that take zero brain power but I LOVE books that make you work for it. That make you concentrate on each and every word. Books that take time and effort and, yeah, your brain. Furthermore, I like trying new genres. Yeah, maybe I'll decide it's not my favorite but I love trying it. I feel like if you truly love reading, you'll love reading just about everything; you'll try anything once.

So am I awful? Should I really be so prejudice against people that only read silly fluffy books and never even try something a little harder? BTW, I'm not talking non fiction, I'm just talking about books that are out of your comfort zone and preferred genre, that are written to make you think and work for the enjoyment. 

I've been working on said sister and she's getting a little better but she still takes FOREVER to read a book that's "hard", aka, not her preferred genre or skill level. I know, I know, I sound horribly mean, I can't help it, I can't stand it!!! I'm a reading style racist!!!

First time for everything

So I've been blogging for just over three months and I'm having my very first blogging slump! How excitingly dull. Usually, if I have no fun ideas for my blog or reviews, I just do a meme but I get to bored of reading them sometimes and so writing them is very boring too.

Anywho, I thought I'd just do a random post again with a few thoughts I've been having.

First off, I was very depressed to hear that Borders is officially going out of business. My Borders made the first cut of closing stores and now that it will be closing too I feel horribly depressed! I HATE Barnes and Noble! They charge full price for everything! You have to pay just to get there 10% off membership and they NEVER offer coupons. Plus I hate buying stuff on line. I like to actually go to the bookstore, smell the inky, papery, coffee smell, and wander amongst the shelves until I find the book I want. Buying online just isn't the same! Good bye, dear Borders, you'll be sorely missed!

Am I alone in this? I always read a synopsis to a book and immediately imagine how it will be. I make up the rest of the story in my head, fill in the holes with my own ideas and eagerly wait to get my hands on the actual  book. Then when I do get the book and read it I always find that it never was what I expected. It's either better and my silly imaginings are forgotten in the beauty of its reality or it's not. I hate when the latter happens. I always end up thinking, "I could have done better than that!"  Either way it ALWAYS happens. And I'm not talking about high expectations here. I mean reading the synopsis and imagining what I'd do with that outline.

Well I've leave you be for now. Have a great week and forgive my slump. I'll just have to let it run it's course.

Follow Friday!

Follow Friday is hosted by Parajunkee's. It's a fun way to get to know other bloggers. Today's question:

Q. Let's step away from besties...What is the worst book that you've ever read and actually finished? 

 I just had to join today for this question. I loathe and will NEVER read again Jane Eyre.

  Now, before you get out your torches and pitchforks let me explain. No book has ever made me so furious before. I hated it before I read it! I hate Rochester! I hate Jane's gullibleness and the whole story just drives me insane!

1 Really, really?! Jane would fall in love with, arrogant, selfish, lying, bossy, deceiving Rochester? Yeah, talk about daddy issues! 

2 He was NOT forced to marry his "crazy" wife! He fell for her pretty face, married her for looks, and got what he deserved! 

3 I'd go crazy too if my husband locked me in the attic and never let me out and then started flirting with, and engaging himself to, some homely governess!  I'd do worse than burn the house down!

4 After all that! Jane decides, oh well, so what, I guess I'll go back and marry the poor sop after all! 

I could go on and on! If you want to get into a big argument...er...heated discussion about this one just let me know!

Argh!

Stupid internet connection! I can't get it to stay connected. So, you'll have to excuse my lame posting for today and my lack of comments until I can get the dang thing working. It took me 45 minutes just to get this! Don't forget to enter my giveaway if you haven't yet. Thanks.