November, you and I really need to stop seeing each other. Last year I wrote about my heartbreaking miscarriage that happened in November and this year I'm having to write another sad post. I'll keep it short. As I mentioned last month, my mother had cancer and has fractured her spine and was bedridden. Some of you know already, but for those of you who don't, my mother passed away on November 11th. I've been through the gauntlet of emotions and am still struggling but I think I'm going to be okay. I won't dwell on the sadness. I just wanted to update you.
I did manage to read some books though and since this is a book blog lets just get to that, shall we?
Favorites of the month were Fiendish and Be Frank With Me. Least Favorite was Haunting Violet.
I promise I'm not heartless but since my mother had been diagnosed with cancer for over a year and we knew the end was coming I feel like I was somewhat prepared. Of course that means nothing when I want to call and tell her something and realize I can't. Then the water works come on and I get lost in grief but mostly I'm okay.
I know you're not heartless. I'm sorry about your mom, though. If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got some good reading in. 6 books is awesome! I got 3 in. I wish it were more, but 3 is better than what I've been averaging, lol.
I'm proud of your 3 books.
DeleteAww, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I'm sure it must be hard to process when someone you love has been ill and struggling for some time. I hope you'll give yourself permission to feel however you feel. I'm sure no one will think you're heartless!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had the distraction of some good books this month. I love the cover of Fiendish!
Thanks for your kind words. It's a cool cover isn't it?
DeleteI'm so sorry about your mom! Even when it's a blessing that their pain has ended, the ones left behind still feel that awful emptiness and loss. And the missing them. That's always the hardest part. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteIt is a bittersweet thing for sure. Thanks!
DeleteI'm so sorry about your mom, Jenny. You're definitely not heartless because I totally understand how you feel. My mom passed away eleven years ago due to cancer and stroke and it hurt me so much to see her suffering. Although it was painful to see herself losing everyday, in my heart I knew that her passing also meant an end to all her pain and suffering.
ReplyDeleteOnto another note, I'm glad you read some good books there. Looking forward to your review on Beauty Queens.
It's hard seeing them suffer but it's hard having them gone too.
DeleteOh, Jenny, I'm so sorry for your loss! Even if it was expected, I'm sure it's been heartbreaking. God bless you and your family with peace and warm memories of happier times.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteSo sorry for you loss Jenny! Novembers are a not kind to you.
ReplyDeleteRight? Sigh!
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, Jenny. You're not heartless by a long shot.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely seems like you read a wide variety of books this month! I haven't heard of The Sugar Queen before but even it's name is intruiging to me; I'll have to pick it up sometime!
Laura @BlueEyeBooks
It's a fun read.
DeleteI cannot even to begin to fathom what you are going through, or how you are feeling. *sends love*
ReplyDeleteI read BEAUTY QUEENS a few years ago, and I really wanted to like it... I didn't. I look forward to seeing your thoughts on it!
Do You Dog-ear?
Thanks. I didn't like it as much as I thought I would either but I didn't hate it so that's something.
DeleteI am so, so sorry to hear that. All my thouhgts and prayers are with you. All my best to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI love that cover of Haunting Violet. I've been wanting to try her books, actually.
Thank you. The cover of Haunting Violet is lovely, isn't it?
DeleteI didn't know your mom was struggling for so long. I'm so sorry for your loss. People may feel guilty when a loved when is sick for a long time, then passes, and they feel okay by that time, but that's not a bad thing. It means you've worked out your emotions before they passed, so when they did, you might even feel relief. That happens sometimes, and I think it's healthy to feel that way when the situation is hopeless. But, you clearly miss her very much already. That's in no way heartless.
ReplyDeleteSending lots of prayers of love and warmth for the Christmas season, Jenny.
Exactly! I definitely feel like I did a lot of the grieving while she was sick. Now I just miss her.
DeleteOh Jenny. I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing your mom is SO hard. I understand all too well the mix of emotions I'm sure you're still dealing with and will continue to deal with. The relief that Cathy mentions above, plus just the very real pain of missing her are really HARD. Sending hugs and prayers your way, friend! Hang in there.
ReplyDelete